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WARNING: The Main Cast biographies below are updated periodically and
therefore . . . . . . . . . . |
![]() ![]() Marcus & Keri |
Full Name: Marcus DiStasi & Keri Anne
Jacobsen Age: Marcus 17, Keri 16 (16 & 15 at the time our story began) Occupation: Juniors at Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #1 Marcus has had a crush on Keri since the first week of their Freshman year at PPHS, but only recently managed to get up the nerve to ask her out. Their first date took a turn for the absurd when they learned that their entire world existed merely to provide fodder for a web-comic. And it's only gotten stranger from there. Keri is a year younger than her classmates, having skipped 4th grade after testing at 7th grade level in reading and math on the State-required 3rd grade proficiency exams. Having left all her friends behind, Keri became a bit of a loner until she met Phun in their Freshman homeroom at PPHS. Keri has had a crush on Marcus since they met Freshman year and was thrilled when he finally asked her out. Their second date was interrupted by the discovery of an island sanctuary for mystical creatures, including their lycanthropic friend Larry. This was in turn topped by their third date, which they spent on a world where the Aztec Empire never fell and now rules all of the western hemisphere. Their world-hopping adventures left them living on an Earth where they had no living alternates. After sharing the dreams (nightmarish memories to be more accurate) of their friends and companions, they went for a walk to clear their heads, only to be abducted by aliens. Having escaped a lifetime sentence in suspended animation, they headed back to Earth with a shipload of aliens. Having barely started their senior year of high school, Marcus and Keri and their friends find themselves on yet another adventure: stopping the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, whom they accidentally freed from Limbo. |
![]() Jimmy |
Full Name: Jimmy Von Atton Age: 17 (16 at the time our story began) Occupation: Junior at Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #8 Jimmy is Marcus' best friend and has been since grade school. He reacted very badly when Phun revealed her crush on him. He has expressed an attraction to Zombi Babe, aka Talya, and has acted on it. During their world-hopping adventures, Jimmy further alienated Phun and the rest of his friends by trying to set himself up as god-emperor of the Aztecs and by having sex with any girl who would have him. Arriving on an alternate Earth, and forced to confront the events in his past that caused him to reject Phun, he is now struggling to figure out how he can put things right and let Phun know that he does indeed love her. While several of his friends, including Phun, were in outer space, Jimmy stumbled across the entrance to a cave. Reunited with his friends, they began exploring it, only to free the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Jimmy no longer believes that his finding the cave and solving the riddle of its locked entrance to be an accident, but rather that other, larger forces are at work. |
![]() Phun |
Full Name: Phun Tlong Age: 17 (16 at the time our story began) Occupation: Junior, Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #8 Phun is Keri's best friend and has been since they started at PPHS. Phun and her family had just moved to Centerville from Monroe. Phun has a crush on Jimmy, but only acted on it after Keri used her plot-altering power to make Phun's parents less strictly traditional. She was devastated when he rejected her, but the sadness is evolving into anger. Unaware of the reason for Jimmy's rejection, she joined Marcus, Keri, Zoe, and Tym for a walk, where they were abducted by aliens. Upon her return to Earth, Phun came down with a variety of symptoms and was hospitalized for several weeks with what her doctors named Tlong Flu. Phun however knows that it was actually just a reaction to the Immune System Booster she was given by the aliens. |
![]() Benny |
Full Name: Benjamin James Theopholes Age: 17 (16 at the time our story began) Occupation: Junior, Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #8 Benny seems to be around merely to serve as an example to others. Despite his incredible clumsiness, he means well. He's also very popular with the girls at school. His parents are media moguls who had him believing that it would improve their image in the press. Benny's latest act of clumsiness resulted in the freeing of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse from Limbo where they had been trapped. |
![]() Bethie |
Full Name: Elizabeth Maria Hartford Age: 15 (14 at the time our story began) Occupation: Freshman, Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #37 Bethie was on a triple-date when Marcus, Keri, Jimmy, and company burst in and accidentally transported the patrons and staff of Goth Girls Pizza to an alternate world. Her younger sister was kidnapped and killed while she was supposed to be watching her. Blaming herself, even though she was only eight at the time, she has become obsessed with the murderer, the serial killer know as The Spider. While she, like many other young girls, had a crush on Benny, it ended abruptly when she realized that he was partly responsible for transporting her to an alternate world, a world where she could no longer try to track down The Spider. While attempting to track one of the Four Horsemen with Jimmy, Bethie got quite a shock when they found the body of a victim of The Spider. |
![]() Zoe |
Full Name: Zoe Yvette Xavier Age: 17 (16 at the time our story began) Occupation: Junior, Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #64 Zoe dated Larry until the unfortunate incident with the werewolves. She became good friends with Keri and Phun their Sophomore year when they rescued her from the Doppelgang Gang. Zoe and Tym, accompanied by Marcus, Keri, and Phun, were abducted by aliens while taking a walk. After returning to Earth, Zoe quickly got past Tym's betrayal and had just begun dating Pavel when the Four Horsemen were freed. |
![]() Allie |
Full Name: Allison McKay (New Paonia alias Allison McCoy) Age: 25 (24 at the time our story began) Occupation: Co-Owner/Secretary-Treasurer, Goth Girls Pizza First Appearance: #6 Another PSUC student with a B.A. and M.A. in English Literature, Allie is using her share of the profits from Goth Girls Pizza to pay for her Doctoral classes. She is not a hard-core Goth, but, being an albino, anytime she wore dark clothes everyone assumed she was a Goth. Eventually she embraced the stereotype. Her "piercings" however are all stick-ons. When her high school prom night turned disastrous, Allie joined a travelling carnival as an albino mermaid. A year later, her parents saw her act. Allie left the life of a carnie and enrolled at PSUC, taking courses year-round, but never spoke to her father again. Allie has opened a new Goth Girls Pizza on the alternate Earth that she's found herself on. She has also reluctantly accepted her role as chaperone of the basically-orphaned teenagers who were responsible for their world-hopping. |
![]() Jeremy |
Full Name: Harrison Jerome Hartford Jr. Age: 20 (19 at the time our story began) Occupation: Student, PSUC First Appearance: #132 The death of his youngest sister drove Jeremy to abandon his hero-worship of his father and become a rebel, a follower of the hard-rock band Bunny Thumpers, and a dabbler in some of the milder recreational drugs. Finding himself on an alternate Earth and in-charge of keeping the younger boys in line, Jeremy has yet to decide what direction he wants his life to take next, though he has Re-enrolled at PSUC on this new Earth and cleaned up his act (a little). The night that the Four Horsemen were freed, Jeremy had a date with Talya. |
![]() Ambrosia |
Full Name: Ambrosia Abigail Anderson Age: 23 (22 at the time our story began) Occupation: Co-Owner/President, Goth Girls Pizza First Appearance: #5 A recent graduate from Paonia State University at Centerville, Ambrosia teamed up with two of her goth girl friends and they founded Goth Girls Pizza, which was an immediate hit with both the students at PSUC and Paonia Prepartory High School. She was the one who convinced the others to use a goth theme throughout the restaurant. In high school, Ambrosia and three friends formed a coven and studied witchcraft. When one of her friends was raped just as another was receiving word that she would likely die during surgery for brain cancer, they cast a dark spell, which failed leaving only Ambrosia alive. Unwillingly transported to an alternate Earth, Ambrosia has found reasons to smile again: restarting GGP and watching Allie struggle in her new role as den mother to a group of teenagers who find outlandish trouble easier than their homework. |
![]() ![]() Leslie & Bobbi Jo |
Leslie's Full Name: Veronica Mathilda
Smithson Age: 20 (19 at the time our story began) Occupation: Co-Owner/Vice-President, Goth Girls Pizza; Student, PSUC First Appearance: #10 Bobbi
Jo's Full Name: Josephine Roberta Clarke Leslie met Ambrosia in a class called "Plato in Wonderland," an English Lit elective that Allie was the Teaching Assistant for. Leslie is currently a Sophomore at PSUC. Bobbi Jo is Leslie's girlfriend and also a silent partner in Goth Girls Pizza. Arriving on an alternate Earth where their own alternates commited suicide when their coming out went very badly, they approached Bobbi Jo's grandmother for a loan. Believing that they had faked their deaths, and that they were justified in continuing to hide, she agreed. The money allowed them to get the new Goth Girls Pizza off the ground and defray the costs of caring for a group of teenagers. |
![]() Larry |
Full Name: Lawrence M. Claybourne Age: 17 (16 at the time our story began) Occupation: Junior at Paonia Preparatory High School First Appearance: #66 Freshman Year, Larry was best friends with Marcus and Jimmy and was dating Zoe. That all ended when a pack of werewolves infiltrated PPHS and infected him with lycanthropy. While on their second date, Marcus and Keri discovered that Larry and a group of mystical creatures has founded an island sanctuary for their kind. When Marcus, Keri, and the rest of the gang found themselves transported via TUP to an alternate world, they discovered a Larry who was not a lycanthrope, but who also didn't know them. This new Larry has had adventures of his own, apparently involving time-travel. During the Four Horsemen incident, Temporal Investigative Unit officers arrived to arrest Larry, only to be gunned down by Pavel who was warned about the TIU by an old man who bore an uncanny resemblance to Larry. |
![]() Talya |
Full Name: Talya Vlachno Age: 19 at time of death; 5 years as a zombi (4 at the time our story began) Occupation: none First Appearance: #24 Talya was the sole "survivor" of a bio-weapons accident in the Soviet-controlled Ukraine. While technically dead, and bearing a great resemblance to a zombi, Talya is actually an undead immortal capable of regenerating from virtually any injury. After her "death" she wandered from town to town, often feared and even attacked as a monster, before being teleported to Jimmy basement. She was with Jimmy but the relationship was purely physical. Jimmy broke up with her as he began the process of trying to win Phun's love. Only then did Talya admit to anyone, including herself, that she had actually fallen in love with Jimmy. Talya went on a date with Jeremy the night that the Four Horsemen were freed. |
![]() Pavel |
Full Name: Pavel Pavel met Zoe while she was still getting over Tym's betrayal and swept her off her feet. So far he seems to be taking the weirdness that comes with being near Zoe (the Four Horsemen, Larry being a time traveller) in stride. |
| and © Copyright 2005-2008 Michael J. Ahlers [Paonia Pawns home] |